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Jeebs,
you are a gambler, don't be afraid to ask for help going to some kind of rehab center. Forget the nice words, gambling is a disease and you must cope with the consequences. Don't listen to the money stories from other people, very few people got rich in gambling.
Just follow Bill V. suggestions, turn your mind to God and the love from your family. Wish you all the best but it is what it is and reality sucks.
GL
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